Literary Yard

Search for meaning

By: Woody Fran

She wants so desperately to love
And to be loved
A love more powerful than the word itself
The type only portrayed in movies
She wants once again to trust
As a newborn clings to its mother
Not sustaining an ounce of doubt
She wants to reach out and embrace someone
Cleave to them inseparably
As if the two melded in unison
And to love unexceptionally deep
To become one simultaneously beating heart
She wants to allow someone to touch her delicate skin
Reach somehow inside her loveless carcass,
Through the charred ashes,
And find the cremated remains of her scorched heart
To see the dim smoldering light still emitted
Before it’s all but extinguished
Someone to potentially fuel its fire
And fan its flame
Reviving its fervor
Someone to look deep into the dark depths of her soul
The utter murkiness
To see the excruciating and agonizing memories
Of past betrayal
Which is etched into the walls of her heart
And the roots of her pain
She’s looking for someone to run their healing fingertips
Through her scars
And love her despite these hideous marks
Mending the emotional deformities
And healing her
She wants to believe in someone
She needs more than a knight
She needs a loving savior
Someone to rescue her
Rescue her from her past
And from herself
And there she resides
If only she could try
But the pain’s too great
And chasm’s too deep
The pain’s too real
She knows she can’t allow the curtain to be withdrawn
To expose her vulnerability n susceptibility
To disrobe removing her armor
And expose her naked heart
She’s too terrified
She withdrawals dagger in hand
Cutting her own lifeline
Allowing her potential life raft to drift away
Staring longingly
Like looking through a plate glass window
With it only being a fingertip’s grasp away but out of reach
Untouchable
Praying for its return, but knowing it can’t, and hoping it doesn’t
Her invisible mental cage imprisons her
Psychological scars chain her heart and shackle her soul
Her spirit silently emits a gut wrenching scream
That only she can perceive
Even her shadow hides from her pain
Her tears which flow no more
Have dried up never to be released again
No one is worthy of their cost
So damned to her Hell
She retreats to safety
A cherished and impervious place
To be with an all too faithful friend and enemy
Her ally and advisory
Loneliness…

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