By: Kimberly Potter Kendrick

It’s happening
I knew it would
It always does
It goes something like this

Heart pounding out of my chest
Fast breaths
Short breaths
Where is the air?

The walls move closer
The elevator stops
They’re too many of us
Don’t touch me
I will burst into flames

The bugs are crawling from inside out to my skin
They won’t wipe off
I can’t even crawl away from them

Hammering in my head
All day
All night
Give me an ice pick
Gouge my eyes out
Make it go away

Sleep it off
Voice of mine
In my mind
Will not stop
I cannot rest

They have arrived
To join the party
The dreaded party

You know, those thoughts
Bad thoughts
Can’t make go away thoughts
No one understands thoughts

Teeth clenched
Muscles tight
Fetal position
Hugging my pillow

Darkness
Hiding under the covers
Trying to outrun myself

Gut aches
Knives stab
Why must it be like this?

Who did this to me?
Why was I made this way?
Loathing myself
Damned until my last breath