By Ken Poyner

AN EDUCATION

Each year we debate what should be the proper age for school children to be taken on a first field trip to see captive pianos in the next town. All of our pianos have been banished or burned, and the initial sight of one might be too intense for the very young. With one class, the attending chaperone was once a piano tuner, and at first contact with the neighboring town’s pianos, fell into tears. Not an example for our youth. Consistency is the mathematics of orthodoxy. Children need to know what we avoid and why. Stop piano envy early.

ART APPLIED

He has a booth on the other side of the street where he scrubs rocks. I do not know if he charges by the rock, or weight, or some assessment process with multiple factors. Perhaps factors known only to him, causing his customers to marvel. For him, there is a distinction between ‘rock’ and ‘stone’. A pick-up truck might pull up with dozens of rocks, and he will climb into the bed, tallying each. Sometimes the customer will leave all the rocks, sometimes only a few. From any perspective, his booth is always on the other side of the street.

AS IT GOES

With the make-up shortage, only clowns can wear make-up. For clowns, it is unregulated: whatever amount they wish to apply to match their desired level of clownery is permitted. The only tangible restriction is that non-clowns must not wear make-up. But recently a girl spilled her purse on a town sidewalk shared with clowns, and a compact and two lipsticks unwittingly rolled out. Immediately, clowns collected the cache as though it were contraband. No argument about its legality persuaded the clowns to give the make-up back. Citizens, keep your make-up at home. But it might not be safe even there.

BECOMING AN ENTERPRISE

The circus will not take back its clowns. It came for one night, did its show, then pulled out while the clowns were distracted by the crowd. I do not think it was an oversight. Circus management most likely put our town on the map for its suitability to dump clowns. No doubt, they have a recruitment class of clowns to pick up at the next stop. Clowns who work cheaper, have modernized tricks, are willing to abide additional danger in the service of their employers. I fear these abandoned clowns might adapt, as well, and we have no marketing.

CELEBRITY

He has the hard signature look of the spider-bitten. He cannot, or will not, say how many bites he has fielded. Less experienced spiderherds will attempt to keep a tally. Meeting him, you hold back, wondering if in his sweat there is spider venom. Rumor is his breath may be toxic to those not immune. There is fear, but also excitement. As a dinner guest, if he compliments your spiderloaf or spider’s breath iced gel, you make sure the neighbors hear of it. When he scurries awkwardly across the floor on all fours, you marvel at the possible carnal applications.

TRIAL

He seems not the champion we need. When he listens, he stands noticeably off kilter, when he speaks, he stiffens and leans forward. He seems unconcerned how the breeze tempts his cape. The superpower he markets may have languished for years, unadvertised. It seems unlikely he will understand what we need of him. He might do better in apprenticeship in a small town, some place with untangled problems, where poise does not so much matter. Then again, it is hard to judge what a champion can do without watching him in action. Before we return him, put someone in peril.

###

Ken Poyner has ten available collections of poetry, flash fiction and micro-fiction, the latest “Science Is Not Enough”, speculative poetry. He has suffered ten Pushcart nominations without a win, and has taught on an NEA Poets in the Schools grant. He spent 33 years herding computers. www.kpoyner.com