Literary Yard

Search for meaning

By: Nicole R. Sander

Please, please, please tell me, I want to know.
How can you expect anything to last, throughout this series of moments in this journey that won’t end.
After now, right now, everything has shifted. Just an inch, just a second, then a minute, an adjustment, no an advancement, then a transition? Is it a reversal?
Is it clearer? Is it blurrier?
Do you understand now? Hurry! Hurry!
Are you confused?
Is it safe?
No, honey…it’s definitely not safe.
It’s dark in there, even though you see happy eyes. There’s want in there.
Is it conscious?  You want the same things right?
I know. I can tell.
How can you tell, you ask?
You can’t.
It’s smiles and bullshit. More smiles and bullshit.
Oh! But I mean this bullshit.
Ok, thank you.
Hold their hand, you can hold it tight, and you can feel their warm hand holding your hand too, but you can’t control when they smile at someone else who is across the room.
It felt good to laugh. Didn’t it feel good to laugh? Feels safe, at home. I remember there.
Let’s try to get there again.


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