Poem: The Invisible Girl

By: Mary P. Douglas 

invisiblegirl

There is no rhyme or reason
For the ups and downs
For the swirling thoughts in my head
Racing so fast
Obsessing by day
Waking at night
Happy, sad, elated, depressed
Anxiety, agitation, anger
I hate them all so
Each separately and together
Making me want to crawl into a hole
I gasp for breath
My chest feels tight
No one notices
I tell no one
Secrets I keep
And so in time
I became the invisible girl
I’m just another human
Existing on earth
I struggle to survive
Wondering who I am
My identity has disappeared
I once was a worker
Deep depression
Stole that away
A mother I am
My babies are grown
Each having a life of their own
A wife I have been
That too has gone
The pieces of me have crumbled away
I’m no longer needed
I wonder each day
Where this person I was?
Where did she go?
What remains is the invisible girl?

I ponder at times
Who I am?
What do I like?
Where do I fit in?
Introverted, isolated, alienated
There does not seem to be a place for me
Where is my trust?
Where is my faith?
How do I become what they call friends?
Finding my place in the universe
For these quickly passing moments in time
The invisible girl
Alone she must be

My dark, secretive, little world
Makes it hard for people to see
I am somebody
I am me
Invisible I feel
Invisible I see
Enshrouded by black clouds
The fog is so dense
The thunder claps loudly
I cannot see
I cannot hear
But neither can they
So I remain a no one
The invisible girl
Lives in me

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