12 Baby Steps (And Still Lost)

By: Mark Antony Rossi


People generally don’t change. So when I don’t like you the first time — good chance I won’t give a rat’s ass the next time either. Maybe it’s my faith in consistency. Maybe it’s my lack of faith in humanity. But like the old cowboy movies the loner isn’t a loner because he’s antisocial — he’s alone because he can only rely on himself.

Perhaps I have trust issues. But I can’t take you seriously if you sleep with a bottle or make love to a needle. It’s your business if you screw a robot but don’t call me friend. Humanity is a failed venture if we continue to trust animals more than people and if we count on machines more than men. What value are we assigning our species? What are we really saying about our place in the universe.

I have no problem with a higher power. But how do we stay creatures of free will if continue to ask for help? Spiritual drug addicts are ultimately no different than moonshine drinkers at midnight. Running away from the mirror never erases the image. And twelve baby steps often lead to deeper confusion. Finding God for most of us means little if you still haven’t found yourself.

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