By: Chuck Orloski
Just outside D.C. Convention Center,
at an illegal D.C. parking space,
Terry the Tramp’s studded leather boot
lowered his Harley Davidson kickstand.
Looking upward into a crystal night sky,
he heard a doorman’s voice,
“Hey, Mister, why are you out in daylight?” *
Terry grabbed crotch, laughed:
“I come to figure out on which side does
the (expletive) sun sets on Langley!”
Later, at podium, unused to bright lights
except for State Police flashing rotators,
Terry the Tramp addressed AIPAC:
“When I become a 1%’er,
I will build an armada of land-to-air drones
and assemble seven divisions of Hell’s Angels
to patrol the Ten Cities of the (expletive) Homeland!
Crowd: “Gasp… You are the messiah?”
Clutching switchblade, Terry continued:
“I hung with a Jew girl during Nixon-Agnew.
She bought me acid and ran for beer!
Town to town, dive bar to the next,
she’d ride naked atop my Harley gas tank
with only a death head bandana, no fear of me.
O yea, and we did crime and love beneath
an upturned Redondo Beach lifeguard boat…,
until the day she dumped me for a scumbag reporter!”
Terry clutched throat, yelled,
“Tell me, what must a Hell’s Angel Amalekite
do to inherit eternal vagabond life?”
A prophetic voice from the audience,
“Amalekites must support Israel!”
“Uh, wait a minute dudes,
hold on, get real…,
consider that I’m going to be a 1%er
and not part of the (expletive) 1%?
I thought this here conference was about
Peter Piper picking AIPAC of pickled peckers!”
Exit Terry the Tramp
for the Low Electoral College Hills.
Enter Hillary, she pushed aside pearl veil,
adjusted mic, got defensive, said,
“Now look here everybody, including Trumpbo!
To my knowledge, my husband never had
a reporter job during Nixon-Agnew!”
* Terry the Tramp is the unforgettable biker who rode with The Hell’s Angels, and is immortalized in the late- Hunter S. Thompson’s, Hell’s Angels: The Strange and Terrible Saga of the Outlaw Motorcycle Gangs. (1966)