Poem: Knock At My Door

By: Kimberly Potter Kendrick

knocking

Knock at my door, I heard
Slowly it opened
Mother was standing there
Mixed with emotions
Shock, joy, love
Tears welled up inside, not a single one fell
Our views quite different, as long as I remember
More than a half of a century since my arrival
My mother stood before me approaching her eighty-fourth birthday
Touching her skin as she kissed my cheek
Smooth skin hung loose upon her frame
Both our faces wore wrinkles from life’s journey
To visit me in my hospital room, she chose a toll upon her aching body
Battling an infection, time seemed eternal
We collide, my mother and I
The quieter she is the louder I yell
Discontented, I retreat
Convinced that no love exists for her grown baby girl
Mother’s silence deafening, tormenting
Perplexed, convinced conditional love existed solely
With a loud snap, to the hospital I returned
Disagreement not a thought, yearning in the wee hours for mother’s voice
Listening to my cries, attempting to comfort disregarding my last angry words
‘Tis true that she never made the first move, until in the doorway she stood
My mother standing without a word displaying how strong her unconditional her love
Evidence, no words ever could reach my heart
I needed mother, she desired to be present
For a week, I lie helpless upon her bed
She loved. She cared. She nursed.
Who else but a mother would wash my legs and feet?
Awakening quite early, my pattern
Her exhaustion increased with each day
Priority for her was me
The bond between a mother and her newborn babe never dissipated
Questions and doubts erased
Observing my mental anguish, helpless was she
Witnessing the face of hopelessness, my mother by my side, I battled deep depression
Struggling with movement, future ambiguous
Mother said, “Fight. Never give up.”
My pain she prayed would vanish
Mother hurt because I hurt
Holding me securely, upon her shoulder laid my head
Crying tears of pain, grief, anguish
Crying at uncertainty when I again would be in her presence, aware it may be never
Knock at my door, unheard

 

 

 

 

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