Poem: ToughGuyBabyBoy

By: Kimberly Potter Kendrick

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Alone in the darkness of my mind
Empty, numb, I’ve run out of tears
It’s happened so many times
Walk away from my child, they say
Issues or not, his actions generate consequences for you
I hear those voices, I think of him wandering the streets alone
Poor decisions lead to homelessness, perhaps next a jail cell
I remember our kissing hand, morning cuddles, but now he’s a man
Remorse, there is not
How many times can I pick up the pieces?
There must be an end to the madness
Once a home, today rooms of chaos
Do I save myself?
Grabbing my hand, he screams, “Mama, don’t leave me alone.”
His fear is real, but what about mine
Peace and serenity I seek
Once safe, protected; they’re replaced with anxiety
He has stolen so much from me, I’ve given him the best I can
It wasn’t enough, I failed at my job
A gift from God to care for his life
At what price, do I sacrifice myself?
I call him ToughGuyBabyBoy, he’s grown in body, but not in mind
His thoughts lead him down wrong paths, no forethought to consequences
A conscience, I am unsure
Sometimes my loving BabyBoy visits his Mama in the early morn’ requesting those little boy cuddles, speaking of his dreams
Do I go? Do I stay?
The cost of each is a mother’s broken heart
Will he fail? Will he succeed?
I’m tired after all these years
“Mama, it will be different this time.”
A decision to make, only for me
For I am his mother, my son is he
If ties are cut, will I lose him forever?
Will he come out stronger?
Fear of the unknown torments
Taking a chance, tears trickle down
ToughGuyBabyBoy in my heart he will always be

 

 

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