By James Aitchison

In London, just five miles east of Buckingham Palace, a mysterious underground language has evolved.  An English language wherein words such as “frog”, “soldiers”, “Aristotle”, “whistle” and “butchers” do not mean what they are supposed to mean!

A twenty-minute bus ride from the palace will bring you to this district where a common word is replaced by a phrase of two or three other words, the last of which rhymes with the original word.  Sometimes the whole phrase is used; more often than not, the rhyming word isn’t spoken, so the listener is left totally mystified.

You don’t have a “Scooby” what I’m talking about, do you?

Then let’s crack the code.  Cockney is a famous London dialect, traditionally spoken by working-class and lower middle-class Londoners born within earshot of Bow Bells — the church of St Mary-le-Bow in Cheapside, whose bells are featured in the nursery rhyme Oranges and Lemons.  Arguably, actor Sir Michael Caine has the world’s most famous Cockney accent.  In My Fair Lady, Professor Henry Higgins cured Eliza Doolittle of her Cockney accent.

Cockney Rhyming Slang originated in the 1840s.  Some historians believe it was used by Cockney traders among themselves so their customers would not know what they were talking about.  Others believe it was developed to safeguard a sense of community (Us versus Them).  In America, from the 1880s, Cockney Rhyming Slang was known as Australian Slang.

Which brings us back to the true meaning of a “Scooby”.

“Scooby Doo” rhymes with clue; thus, I don’t have a “Scooby” means I don’t have a clue.

“Frog and toad” rhymes with road (Let’s hit the frog and toad); “soldiers” is short for “soldiers bold”, which rhymes with cold; “Aristotle” rhymes with bottle; “whistle and flute” rhymes with suit; “butchers” is short for “butcher’s hook” which rhymes with look (Let’s have a butchers).

And on it goes.  To tell “porkies” means to tell lies (rhymes with porky pies.)  A “rub-a-dub-dub” is a pub.  “A dog and bone” is a telephone.  “Apples and pears”, generally shortened to “apples”, are stairs.  “Plates of meat” are feet.  “China plate”, usually shortened to just “China”, is a mate.  “Trouble and strife” is a wife.  “Lady Godiva” is a fiver (a five-pound note).  A “titfer”, shortened from “tit for tat”, is a hat.  And, sadly, an American is a “Septic” (“septic tank” rhymes with Yank)!

Often, well known locations are used in Rhyming Slang.  Your “Hampsteads” (think “Hampstead Heath”) are your teeth; to “Scapa” (shortened from “Scapa Flow”) means to go.

Other rhymes depend precisely on the pronunciation of the word being rhymed.  “Joanna” or “goanna” means piano, but only if you pronounce piano as “pianna”.  Likewise, in Australia, a “Pommy” refers to an English person.  It stems from a rhyme of the word “pomegranate”, which Australians pronounce as “Pummy Grant”, which rhymes with immigrant.

Cockney Rhyming Slang is constantly evolving.  In the twentieth-century, new rhymes were increasingly based on the names of celebrities or inspired by popular culture.  A “Roger Moore” or “Bernard Shaw” is a door; a “Gregory Peck” is a cheque; a “Mona Lisa” is a pizza; “Brady Bunch” is lunch; “Pop Goes the Weasel” is diesel; “Winnie the Pooh” is a shoe; “Schindler’s List” means pissed.

Significantly, many Cockney Rhyming Slang terms have slipped into everyday English — with many people unaware of their origin.  Perhaps the best known example is to use your “loaf”, which derives from “loaf of bread”, which rhymes with head.

My favourite new term is an “Abercrombie”, which derives from “Abercrombie and Fitch”, and as we all know, “Abercrombie” rhymes with zombie!

Next time you’re in the East End, why not try your hand at rhyming slang — just for a Turkish.

(“Turkish bath”, shortened to “Turkish”, means a laugh… but you guessed that already, right?