Literary Yard

Search for meaning

By: Sam Hendrian

“Casualties”

She was cursed with the rare gift
Of etching tomorrow onto someone’s face
As soon as the today she spent with them
Proved happier than every yesterday combined.

Window-shopped at all the wedding stores within a hundred mile radius,
Not to mention all the bakeries and banquet halls
Which bridged the gap between pipe dream and prophecy,
Wishful thinking and wishes come true.

So it came as a shock to her system
When she heard the words “something casual”
Fall from the tips of the lips she’d locked with
Tighter than any she’d locked with before.

Almost collapsed right there on the spot,
Confused by the sneakers/dress shoes distinction
Having never viewed connection
In such vaguely specific terms.

Bled a lot that evening
On behalf of countless others
Who craved to be cherished
Longer than a Friday night special.

“Concerto for Caroline”

They were wed in between concerts
With a wind section reverend as officiant
And an audience of janitors
Listening from the bathroom stalls.

She asked him many times about his muses,
Who they were and where they came from
If they came from anywhere at all
Beyond the boundless landscape of imagination.

Dropped a hint here and there
But only ever heard him laugh
Before holding her closer
While whistling an unnamed melody.

Always sat in the front row
Until the day she went away on a stretcher
With outstretched hands
Demanding one final embrace.

The next three years were a blur
Of empty bars and tuneless pianos
As he collapsed in the middle of the stage
Fearing he’d never move again.

Yet a symphony of ghostly whispers
Crept into his near-deaf ears
And compelled him to compose
What he never could while she was alive.

“Prenup Paradox”

Planned for the end
So that it would never happen,
Using the logic of two jinxing kids
Who owed each other sodas.

Tried to iron out their disagreements
Long before it actually mattered,
Making daily trips to the furniture store
To test how loudly they could yell.

There’s always that point in a relationship
When nostalgia seems like the only thing you still have in common
Which compelled them to never make memories
And let nice moments fade into their minds’ abyss.

Not to say there weren’t consistent doubts
About whether they had anything at all
Beyond a fleeting curiosity
Mistaken for connection.

Yet they continued their bedroom routine
Of courtroom fantasies
In hopes that future reality
Looked more like a shared nursing home.

“Living Backwards”

Stopped looking at the sunset
70 years ago,
Preferring to skip to the sunrise
For however much longer she had.

In her own twilight era
She found consolation on the bus bench
Since it clearly implied
There were still places to go.

Cupped her hand over her eyes
So that the shadows served her vision,
Casting a wistful glow
Upon the distant vehicle.

Vacillated between hope and the memory of hope,
Unsure which was more powerful,
Only knowing that expectations
Felt better than regrets.

As soon as it arrived
She leaped with childlike joy
And for a fleeting moment
Believed that life could be lived backwards.

“Welcome to Las Vegas”

Refrigerator full of magnets
From every mileage milestone
Securing her status
As someone who lived life well.

Welcome to Las Vegas,
Welcome to Beverly Hills,
Welcome to the Biggest Ball of Yarn,
The Midpoint of the World.

Husbands came and went
Like Jehovah’s Witness warriors
Whose wealth of good intentions
Almost made up for their poverty of empathy.

Yet she told herself she’d always do
The minimum of meaning,
Measuring her treasures
One landmark at a time.

Welcome to New York,
Welcome to Walt Disney World;
We’re glad you came to see us
Now get the hell out of here.

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