By: Jun A. Alindogan

I did not expect such an event to happen, but I think it was inevitable. I was busy teaching, which took me to different locations in the city, while my elderly mom stayed with my younger brother’s family in our ancestral home in a northern suburb. Because I was constantly on the move, my visits home were limited, especially since our town gets flooded annually due to high tide and incessant rain during typhoons. My younger brother decided to settle in our father’s hometown in the southernmost province in Luzon to take care of our inherited property. He was simply fulfilling our father’s wish for him to become an agriculturist and practice his profession on our family land. Obviously my mother had to resettle with my younger brother’s family. Thus I was left alone at home as my two other siblings have already relocated overseas and to an island province years ago. The ancestral home was eventually sold after a catastrophic flood swept through the entire municipality and other cities in the metropolis.

For several years, I had to travel at Christmas to be with my brothers’ families in the south. Wherever we are, we always strive to be home, especially during holidays that involve familial and friendly relationships. Our roots dictate where we should be, what we should do, and how long we should stay. These factors establish our framework for home. My elderly mom initially stayed for years in the southernmost Luzon province before moving to my youngest brother’s family on an island province. I also had the opportunity to bring some church friends to these locations and enjoyed the Christmas solitude along the port, in a cold spring, on a bay walk, and a stroll along the river banks. However, my Christmas visits became less frequent due to issues with travel, both in terms of physical obstacles and financial constraints. Furthermore, my nephew and niece had started working in the city.

I currently live in the easternmost municipality of a suburban province. This town has been my home for nearly two decades, and I have established a strong relationship within the community, largely due to my regular attendance at the local church. I still remember my first Christmas away from home, which I spent with a family whose residence was just a few blocks away from the local church. The family must have surmised that I needed some company, so they invited me over for meaningful conversations, delicious macaroni and fruit salads, sumptuous meat and fish dishes, delectable spaghetti, and good wine. The welcome was overwhelmingly pleasant and warm.

The following Christmas was spent on a hillside location a few meters from the local church where a member and his family lived. They invited me and my colleague to join them before midnight. All of the family’s children were there, and they exchanged simple gifts that they opened during the midnight meal. I remember there were grapes, apples, bananas, oranges, and buko salad. The family also rented a karaoke machine to sing the night away. They even encouraged us to sing our favorite love songs and Christmas carols. The family also gave us some cash. We never felt alone – we were part of the family.

For two consecutive Christmases, I spent the holiday with a minister’s family in the city. Their kids actually looked forward to celebrating Christmas with me. They affectionately call me Lolo because I was one of the principal sponsors at their parents’ wedding. I believe the parents’ goal is to create Christmas memories that the children will fondly remember and cherish for years. I am privileged and honored to be a part of this special memory. I enjoy eating beef kare-kare, and on a particular Christmas celebration, I partook of this meal which was meticulously and laboriously prepared by the minister’s wife, reminiscent of my mom’s cooking.

A year ago, it was a rainy Christmas in a coastal city where my friend’s parents-in-law lived. The roads were flooded, but I was still invited to have Christmas dinner with them. The elderly in-laws were welcoming, and it was a good opportunity to spend the night with them. Stories from the past are important milestones that should never be forgotten, as they shape our spiritual mindset. These anecdotes transport us back to times that were well spent, including our brief moments with families that are not our own. Transitioning to a sense of belonging requires a lot of effort and must be built on mutual trust. Relationships grow and flourish as they are nurtured. The meal was sumptuous, with roast beef, stuffed chicken, mixed veggies with quail eggs, and special dumplings and gelatin.

The present is the continuation of the past. Our present realities exist because of the lessons taught by the past. Celebrations are most enjoyable when we understand their meanings and implications within our families. Events endure when we reflect deeply on their communal significance.

The first Christmas was a mobile one, with the family embarking on a journey and the wise men following a star. Spending time with families other than our own brings a sense of interconnectedness. Despite our differences in perspectives, intelligence, age, and health, we can still come together in the spirit of Christmas.

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Manuel A. Alindogan, Jr. or Jun A. Alindogan is the Academic Director of the Expanded Alternative Learning Program of Empowered East, a Rizal-province based NGO in the Philippines and is also the founder of Speechsmart Online that specializes in English test preparation courses. He is a freelance writer and a member of the Freelance Writers’ Guild of the Philippines (FWGP).