By: Aneesha Roy

An unsolicited phrase of reproach
Escaped my lips today.
It was undeserved and rude
And perhaps directed at
Her rawest nerve.
She said nothing much in defence.
She was too hurt to speak.
No execration, no distasteful profanity
Was uttered.
It was an insinuation, completely uncalled for.

She spoke to me only a few select words,
After this entire episode.
I regretted it the moment it
Escaped my lips, I did.
I apologized twice, but her stoic,
Stern glance rendered it ineffectual.
She spoke a very fragmented speech
After that.

I wonder if things could go
Back to normal again.
We still talk though.
We talk about different things,
And silly nothings.
But the conversation somehow
Feels artificially concocted.
It lacks the effervescent,
Enthusiastic fervour of
The old days.

I tendered a tacit apology
Through my pleading glances,
My complaisant countenance.
She remained seemingly unmoved.
She remained withdrawn.
But we were professional in
Our behavior throughout.

I wonder though if she will
Ever forgive me.
Or will I just be rendered another
Statistic in the catalogue of
People who had hurt her.
I wish I could take it all back.
Alas! Guilt and shame well
Up in my heart.
I wronged her, I did.
I wish we could forget all
About it and start over and
Wipe the slate clean.
But I guess even the cleanest slate
Has a disguised blemish, a dirty scar
And all is not perfect or maybe
I haven’t heard the
End of it yet.

*****

Aneesha Roy is an avid reader and writer of poetry. Her poems, “A Strange Confabulation”, “Gravitating Conundrums”, “Judith Shakespeare”, “Insurrection”, “The dwindling wonder in her eyes” and “Bon Appetit” have been published in online journals. She is a part of the Editorial team of Ijagun Poetry Journal. She is currently pursuing a degree in English literature and working on her first poetry collection. Apart from literature, she is interested in feminist criticism, mythology and philosophy.