By: Kimberly Potter Kendrick

Beckoning in the darkness of daylight
Transforming soccer moms, business men, and college students into thieves and liars
Persuasive it is
Inviting you the first time
Guarantees excitement
Vowing a reprieve
Hastily you implore to revisit
Unknown; the date, the time
Realization your choice; vanished
Disguised with a mask
Work conferences, grocery shopping, attending PTA
Even while pumping gas, hide you cannot

Inner chaos over right and wrong; justifications
Wickedness prevails
Values disregarded
Priorities diminish
Humiliation emerges
Repossessed, the minivan towed away
Bank account depleted
Cabinets are empty
Fired today
Broken promises, promises made to yourself

It strangles, degrades
Children taken
Marriages end
Pawning your grandmother’s diamond ring
Selling your soul

On your skeleton; clothes tattered, loosely hanging
What is wrong they ask?
Answer dare not
It has a grip
Fiercer than a hurricane
It taunts
With your mind it plays
Reminisces of the first party
One more emphatically declared, the final one
It wins another round; stealing your family, your possessions
No, that’s a lie, you gave them away

Home becomes a row of damp cardboard boxes
Blood, urine, feces, vomit splattered
Senses dulled; the stench unnoticed
Sunken eyes, like death
You sell your last possession; your body
Again and again and again
Bankrupted spirit
No life remaining

Cold in the rain
Alone in the rain
Memories fade away; forced down inside
Too excruciating to acknowledge
Hope dwindles
Nothing matters
It matters
Emptiness
Wishing for death to stop the horror
Existence or survival
Your spirit dies first
It devours your body, your mind

Just one more
Everything’s fine
A tiny taste, minute relief
Against the concrete wall you collapse
Prayers to a God in whom you do not believe
Eyes shut
No sleep, no rest
It summons
Believing this is the finale
Lying again to yourself
The cycle began innocently
It is stronger than your will
Is it stronger than your cry for help?