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A Seahawk lineman down on the N.F.L.’s sponsored trip to Israel *

By: Chuck Orloski


At West Wing desk, Reince Priebus takes call from Seattle Seahawks defensive lineman, Michael Bennett. Quite occupied and having mistaken Michael’s baptismal-name for Reagan’s Secretary of education, William Bennett, Preibus immediately summons President Trump to answer his phone.

“Hello,Mr. Trump,this is Michael Bennett. You might have read about what I just did?”

“Well, Michael, nice of you to call, but I only read “The Children’s Book of Virtues” to Melania while dating so that she understood what I meant by making America great again.”

“No, no, sir, this is Michael Bennett. I don’t write books, I sack quarterbacks!”

“Oh hell, I get it now! So you’re the spoiled football player who is embarrassing our best ally and only democracy in the Middle East?”

“Yeah, but the reason I am calling is that I feel America is still democratic and like “The Greatest” Muhammad Ali, I want to give a voice to voiceless Palestinians!”

“Yes, Bennie, on paper, the U.S. is a democracy…, but you’re unpatriotic by not playing ‘the-only-game-in- town’ that matters, and refusing to support Israel.”

“Oh well, I thought I’d just run the matter by you, Mr. President.”

“Look, Bennie. Just go to Izzie with the entire N.F.L. delegation and shut up. Go shopping and and try to meet up with tuned-in “Black Hebrews’ who hang out in southern Israel!”

“Uh, southern Israel you say? Do you think Tourist Minister Lavin will let me go into areas where illegal settlements are being built?”

“Look here, Bennie! You’re talking to The Man who has made ‘big time’ investment into settlement construction. (sigh) I can make one phone call to ambassador Friedman and as long as you ‘nip it’, you could go and do whatever the (expletive) you want!”

“Oh Jesus! I don’t think you’re getting my point, Mr. President.”

“Just visit Yad Vashem and afterward go and party at Tel Aviv’s Jerusalem Beach. Tremendous!”

“Oh, I get it. Can you put me on the line with Bannon? I heard he’s not too cool with the idea of annexing more Palestinian land.”


  • Author’s note: Seattle Seahawks defensive end Michael Bennett has irked team zillionaire owner Paul Allen and others by pulling out of a National Football League sponsored trip to Israel. He accused the government of trying to exploit him for Public Relations (PR) purposes and cited his sympathy for the Palestinians. Mr. Bennett’s action disappointed Israeli Cabinet minister, Gilad Erdan, who had earlier expressed the great importance of the pro football players visit, and asserted it would defend against “the false incitement campaign that is being waged against Israel around the world.” Given such messy controversy, I suggest that N.F.L. team owners contact 49er quarterback (Enemy of The Police State), Colin Kaepernick, and ask him if he’s interested in rehabilitating his career and join the pigskin junket to Israel.

“Linked” below is the Associated Press report written by Josef Federman.


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