Literary Yard

Search for meaning

By: Kimberly Potter Kendrick

She stood blankly staring out the window
Touching the glass pane, chills ran through her body
Bleak, she thought
Would the rain ever end
Would she ever get home
The courage she started the process with had dissipated as the days passed
The psychiatrist declared she was significantly depressed
It almost made her laugh
At first the smell of the place sickened her
The helpless feeling that came with a lack of control over her environment
She had never done roommates well, but she was quiet and kept to herself
The other half of the room was filled with blinking lights and blaring sound from the neighbor’s television throughout the day, throughout the night
She learned to sleep with headphones playing lullabies in her ears
A blanket pulled over her head
Then there was pain
Ripping, throbbing, can’t take anymore pain
Her strength, her will to fight diminished
Depressed, yes, she believed so
The black cloud enveloped her body, she was exhausted wearing the heavy cloak
The churning, uneasiness filled her carcass
Anxiety wound through her veins like vines strangling the life out of her
The thorns pricked inside leaving unhealed wounds
She attempted to inhale deeply, the weight made deep breaths impossible
Days marked off the calendar praying she would return to her home
To the life she had just begun to live
She was desperate for strength to pull her through
Flipping from picture to picture
There he was, his handsome little face smiling
On a plane with her he once again wanted to fly
Together they held hands everyday heading to the pool
Memories that made her cry
Acknowledging more memories may be created
If only for a few minutes, she realized her situation was temporary
The blackness had not disappeared, but the wind lifted the grim cloud long enough for her to see past the darkness
She wanted to fight
Gently she tugged at the vine
Stubbornly it clung to every twist and turn
But into pieces it broke sliding out to lie at her feet
She reached above and pushed the cloak off her a bit
She ducked stepping forward
The pain shot through her leg and she reached for a crutch
The battle wasn’t over yet
Another day passed
Another day closer to home
Another day closer to his innocent face
On this day, she gathered strength
For this day, she would not easily surrender


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