Poem: I Live In My Mind

By: Kimberly Potter Kendrick

moslem

I live in my mind, a world nobody sees
Some days are filled with sunshine, flowers, and green fields of corn
Other days the cloud overhead dark and thick
The ocean roars so loudly I cannot hear the voices in my head

I live in my mind, a world nobody sees
In my trunk, masks overflow
Who is it you would like to have lunch with today?
I’m sure I have a mask for blissful buried in the collection, no matter how disturbed my thoughts
A chameleon I am, I change on a whim
Sometimes to fit in, other times blanketing my mood
Transparent, not me

I live in my mind, a world nobody sees
Corners with bits of joy tucked away
Up on the rafters where the raindrops puddle, the unspeakable scrawled on shreds of paper
Abundance of diaries stacked on dusty book shelves, writings of my turbulent life since before my teens
Even I know not where the keys to unlock my musings

I live in my mind, a world nobody sees
I smile at the strangers passing on the sidewalk and utter, “How do you do? Glorious day, isn’t it?”
Today I cannot leave the house.
I cannot leave my room.
I cannot leave my mind.
Under the covers in darkness I hide
Unsettling, but familiar, comfortable in a strange sort of way
Light of day spotlights my pain
Sunglasses and scarves are of no use, translucent

I live in my mind, a world nobody sees
As a child, she’s so creative, what an imagination
Dressing mismatched, painting pictures of black and grey
My mother, my father, my teachers questioned, no answer was apparent
They could not explain me
Eccentric, odd, doesn’t fit in with the other children

I live in my mind, a world nobody sees
My head aches from the chaos surrounding
Contentment is mine at certain times
Alone, the words flow, the paint splatters, the dulcimer needs tuning, but still I strum
Isolate I do, protecting myself from those who do not understand
Only a rare few do I share minuscule pieces of me

I live in my mind, a world nobody sees
Perhaps as time passes, the flood gates will open
My spirit will roll like the river
Until then access to my soul remains sealed
I live in my mind, a world nobody sees

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