By: Linda M Crate

you didn’t deserve me

all the oceans
i cried for you,
should’ve kept to myself;
you didn’t deserve
them—

you only wanted my naked
body and not my naked soul so
you didn’t deserve the first
of my flowers, either;

but that was a lesson
i had to learn the hard way—

but now that i know
my worth
i won’t give anyone else
any discounts,

but i must admit giving you
the right parts of me
only to be wronged makes me not
want to give anyone anything
in the future;

just want to lock myself in the garden
of my heart because i know i deserve
my flowers and my open fields and moors—

i don’t know if anyone else does.

###

i need to know they care

i know it wasn’t love that destroyed me,
but a man who didn’t know how
to love;
but i’ve risen from that shallow grave
you buried me in—

but now i am hesitant,
and now i cannot help but distrust
the intentions of anyone
who tries to get
close to me

i push every man aside
because i think he might be like you;

and even if it’s not true
i would rather be safe than sorry
because you cannot unbreak a heart—

i wish people were more honest with
their intentions and their aims,

and i wish that i could stop putting cactuses
on door knobs but i have to know if people
truly care or if they’re pretending to.

###

i am not yours

i am my own
before i am anyone else’s,
and i am sick
of all these men
who see my beauty and think
i am their angel
sent to them
from heaven above;
i am a mermaid who prefers to save sailors
but i can become a siren who drowns men—
i am a dark fae who prefers to plant flowers
but i will become a dark phoenix
and burn your kingdom to the the ground,
i am a damphyr that prefers peace;
but i will declare a war against all men
as i drink every drop of their blood—
i don’t want to be a monster,
but sometimes the only way to get your
point across is by being mean;
when you’re nice
people mistake your kindness for weakness.

###

let me live

i am tired
of being made
uncomfortable

just in existing

men, as a collective,
need to do better;

women are not your
objects of immediate
sexual gratification
or desire—

we have dreams,
ambitions, and goals
that exist outside of your existence;

and some of us want
more than to be mothers and wives—

there’s nothing wrong with wanting family,
but there’s nothing wrong in not wanting one;
every individual must make their own way

and i am tired of men trying to stop me
to force me to see them

when all i’m trying to do is life my life.

###

flaws and all

you tried to silence me
force me inside
the cage
of your expectations

women aren’t your pigeons
nor songbirds or experiments,

and some are okay with
things that others
are uncomfortable with;

some are more obedient and some of us
are wild and refuse to be tamed or chained—

i am one of the latter,
and i refuse to believe that there’s anything
wrong with me because i know

there is love and light in my heart;
and i know that i have worth beyond your recognition—

yet i hesitate when people try to love me
because i fear they will all be like you
refusing to acknowledge or understand my language
insisting i drop the mythology of my own bones
to inherit theirs,

all i want is to be appreciated and loved
for who i am; as i am: flaws and all.