By: Aleksandra Lekić Vujisić
I am walking on the needles of past lives
That fit so nicely in the portrait of my pain,
I am holding onto sparkling memories
That never wanted to hug loss and shame.
I am leaving without any luggage,
Starting the voyage without big expectations,
Without tricky addresses, postcards, hauntings,
With no tickets and no stations.
I left you – but I still breathed with same eyes,
hands, heart, and lungs,
Sometimes I wrote to you from desperation
About my travels, my comebacks, and my runs.
Maybe you didn’t believe me,
I can still feel your hearth stalking,
But I don’t know any better –
and I just keep walking.
To the stars and nonsense
I am playing with days
And I strongly believe
That a big turn will happen
in this game –
Sometimes I tear the memories
from the calendar
Like the map of the
good old world full of vain.
I am playing with shadows
Of those who don’t know
How the day hurts
When it is beautiful,
I am playing with pain,
Sitting on the swing,
Like a widow of past,
holding on the wedding ring.
I am playing with words
Burnt in hope
Believing that I am
Lost in the future,
Like the pieces of freedom
Stuck under my skin,
Feeling the pain of past, my twin.
I am playing
While I run,
Because life makes sense only in that way,
Licking my lips on pride,
Snarling on love,
And on to the stars and nonsense.
I survived somehow
Red scarf and shining shoes,
I survived like this
All the nonsense
And war for peace,
Nation gone crazy,
And the last sad caprice,
And yes, I survived some kind
Of dinars –
Kilo of banknotes for a kilo of bread,
I survived mine and other people’s
A sip of sadness for a piece of heaven,
I survived sirens,
The buildings were shaking from
I survived migraines
And other gifts, modest and unforgettable,
I survived studying with no electricity,
For completely unexpected exams,
I survived thunders outside the storms,
My heart and other people’s hearts,
And yes – I survived the whole
Of Yugoslavia dancing to the rock’n’roll,
When the brain is squirming and the spine
Our people became other people –
And the whole world went crazy.
I survived running from enraged dogs,
Cold hands on my body,
Ghosts chasing me from the beginning
And the salvation,
And many other things that I would never admit –
And yes, everything became
Different – nobody’s, mine,
I survived the invisible calmness
And the visible air –
And then – when I leave will you care?
Aleksandra Lekić Vujisić (Podgorica, Montenegro, born in 1979) is a professor of English language and literature, and a passionate writer of prose and poetry for children and grownups. She participated in poetry festivals across Europe and her works have won prizes and acknowledgments in Montenegro and worldwide.
Aleksandra writes in her native language and English, and her stories and poetry have been published several times and translated into Italian and Spanish language. In 2017 she started a literary project in order to promote the importance of reading for children and starting from May 2021 she is a member of the Association of Montenegrin authors for children.