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Soft Skills: Improve Your Attitude, Behavior, and Personality

By: Professor M.S. Rao

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“If you have anything really valuable to contribute to the world it will come through the expression of your own personality, that single spark of divinity that sets you off and makes you different from every other living creature.” —Bruce Barton

You come across some personalities surrounded by a crowd while some personalities are avoided by the crowd. What makes the difference is that the people surround personalities who are magnetic, committed, and ethical with principles and philosophies. Deepak Chopra said, “The secret of attraction is to love yourself. Attractive people judge neither themselves nor others. They are open to gestures of love. They think about love, and express their love in every action. They know that love is not a mere sentiment, but the ultimate truth at the heart of the universe.” It is obvious that these magnetic personalities believe in the value system and walk their talk. They speak pleasingly and politely. They speak with a measured tone and voice. They remain cool and calm under pressure and threats. They emphasize soft skills. Hence, the crowd surrounds such leaders as they feel connected and find excitement. In this regard, we will discuss what makes some personalities stand out and explore tools and techniques to improve personality.  

What is Personality?

Although everyone wants to impress others to impact and influence and to get noticed by others only a few people are aware of impacting and influencing others with their personality, attitude, and behavior.

Personality must not be confused with physical appearance. Personality is a combination of thoughts, feelings, and actions. It is an overall impression of how people create to others with their character, commitment, convictions, values, behavior, and mannerism. Mere physical appearance doesn’t make a personality great because physical appearance and beauty fade away in the long run. It is the inner beauty and character that makes a personality great and stands out.

Most people think that personality is permanent and cannot change. It is a myth indeed! People change with changing times and technologies, age, experiences, attitudes, principles, and philosophies. Hence, personality is dynamic and fluid.

Personality depends on heredity, environment, and situation. Although most personality is set from heredity it is the environment and situation that will change personality. When you look at Barack Obama and Mark Obama, they look alike in appearance but their attitudes and approaches are different. Although both are half-brothers, Barack Obama has a positive attitude towards his father while Mark Obama has a negative attitude towards his father due to his personal bitter experiences. Here are some tools to improve your personality.

  • Be cheerful and radiate positive energy. 
  • Maintain high energy and enthusiasm.
  • Smile. Listen attentively. Empathize with others. Maintain eye contact with others.
  • Turn negatives into positives.
  • Identify good things in others and appreciate them openly to enable them to feel good at themselves.  
  • Avoid talking about negative things and badmouthing others. Don’t carry forward information especially when it is negative and unhealthy.
  • Dress well.
  • Talk politely and pleasingly.
  • Improve your body language and the way you speak to others.
  • Create charisma with your mannerism.
  • Emphasize your internal character and beauty. Don’t worry about your external appearance.
  • Be natural. Avoid imitating others. You are a unique person and a gift to this world.
  • Avoid complaining, criticizing, and condemning others.
  • Take a break. Pursue creative hobbies. Praise yourself. Dream high.
  • Read biographies of inspiring personalities.
  • Develop an attitude of gratitude. Maintain a gratitude journal and thank people for their kind gesture.

Introspect your present personality. List your strengths and weaknesses. Underscore your strengths and underplay your weaknesses. It is a fact that people remain the same at the core. Hence, there is a need to bring changes at the surface level with positive behavior. Personality changes with age, experiences, situations, and time. Therefore, improve your behavior to reinforce your good personality traits.


It is a well-admitted fact that people crave for approval and recognition. Just because to get approval and validation from others, you should not compromise with your core principles and philosophies. Since man is a social animal and likes to live with others to create affinity and bonding, he must mold by bringing some positive changes through adaptation. To summarize, building your personality is like giving another birth to your life. You are born into this world but how you want to be reborn is in your hands which is possible by building your personality. Hence, don’t blame the circumstances and the people around you. Reborn by building your personality to stand out from others.  


Professor M.S. Rao, Ph.D. is the Father of “Soft Leadership” and the Founder of MSR Leadership Consultants, India. He is an International Leadership Guru with forty years of experience and the author of fifty books, including the award-winning ‘See the Light in You’.He is a C-Suite advisor and global keynote speaker. He brings a strategic eye and long-range vision given his multifaceted professional experience, including military, teaching, training, research, consultancy, and philosophy. He is passionate about serving and making a difference in the lives of others. He is a regular contributor to Entrepreneur Magazine. He trains a new generation of leaders through leadership education and publications. His vision is to build one million students as global leaders by 2030.  He has the vision to share his knowledge freely with one billion people globally. He advocates gender equality globally (#HeForShe). He was ranked #1 Thought Leader and Influencer in Business Strategy globally by Thinkers360. He invests his time in authoring books and blogging on executive education, learning, and leadership. Most of his work is available free of charge on his four blogs including

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