Literary Yard

Search for meaning

By: Josephine Rudolf

She was perfect, no she wasn’t. She was so far beyond that. She was the warm blanket on a rainy day, yet at the same time, if you were a plant, she would be the rain after a long drought. She was the type of person that made you feel secure even if you knew that she was lightyears ahead of you. In fact, she wasn’t ahead of you since that would imply that you could ever get there but you could never. I wasn’t perfect, but for a moment she made me believe that I was. Nothing before could yet Amara had that kind of power. This was her least impressive power by far still, it was my favorite. She had the power to destroy whole cities, yet the patience to build them brick by brick. Could freeze the Atlantic but took the time to provide warm soup for those in need. Everything was perfect, but today our story ends. It ends how it was destined to be, her being the hero, sacrificing me.

As I look at her, I can see the despair, the pain, and the sorrow but there is something else. A sense of determination and conviction, which saddens me. Was sacrificing me that easy? I know that defeating one of the most immoral companies was more important, but couldn’t she at least pretend to be sad? Maybe this was just her way of coping with it; why bother fighting the inevitable?

We met three years ago; I burned my tongue on a latte while Amara protested in front of the coffee shop. I expected her to condemn me for my choices or simply ignore me. Amara did neither, she healed my wound and cooled my latte to a perfect 140 degrees. All she asked for in return was that I inform myself about the cruel practices of this company. A few protests later, I surprised her with a nice coffee from a small business. Throughout the following years, I accompanied her to a variety of charitable events. Although I cared about some of them, Amara was always my main reason to be there. Soon after, she became my main reason to eat, sleep and even exist. I proposed to her in May and couldn’t believe my luck when she said yes. For a moment I was at peace until one unfortunate day I prematurely saw her in her wedding dress. I looked away as quickly as I could but was sure of the doom that would await us. Amara begged me to look at her again and through the veil of my tears, I saw the most divine being on this earth. She promised me that we are in charge of our destiny, and nothing could change that. I ask myself if she would’ve said the same thing if she knew back then what she knows now.

We got married two weeks ago; she promised me the honeymoon of my dreams if I could wait a few more days. I would’ve waited for ages if she asked me to. Amara felt bad for it, but at the same time couldn’t stop, she just needed a bit more time. For years she had been trying to take this company down, and after finding out about all the pain and suffering they had caused, I understood her vigor. Everything went according to plan, she had acquired the perfect internal documents to expose them and found the perfect news outlet for her story, but as fate would have it, they had the only thing about her that wasn’t perfect, her husband.

Now I sit here, tied to a chair, waiting for death to take me. Her options were simple, either burn the documents or watch me turn into ashes. Sure, it isn’t the typical happy end, but surely sacrificing her husband for the greater good would solidify her status as a hero. I take a deep breath, before calling out for her one last time “Amara, I love you”, I sob “And I am beyond thankful for the time we have shared…I know you don’t have a choice here and I want you to know that I am not mad at you”. She stepped closer before lowering down to kiss me, I close my eyes. Suddenly there is a cold wind on my cheeks, clinging to the trails my tears had left. As I open my eyes, I see the endless white of the Antarctic. I shriek as I feel something gripping my hands. “Don’t worry honey, you are safe now” my sweet angel Amara comforts me. I stutter “Am, Am I in heaven?”, she smiles “No this is our honeymoon, John”. I am baffled, “But what about the documents and the company? You could’ve saved the world” A single tear leaves her beautiful emerald eyes before she replies coldly, “Saving the world almost caused me to lose you, I would rather set the entire planet ablaze before I let that happen again, they’re on their own now”. I should probably feel bad for destroying something this perfect and robbing earth of its last hero, but hey this is my honeymoon.

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