Literary Yard

Search for meaning

By: Daniel Millard

There is a wounding
A psychic bruise
Not an actual memory
But my body knows
I feel it deeply
Inside of sickened bones

When I was 27, you told me
What you used to do to me
As a baby boy
You said it right out loud
In front of everybody there
You said it with a smile
Upon your face
And then you laughed and laughed

I did nothing in that moment
I was high on meth
It’s like a bomb went off inside me
I did not feel the explosion
I took it on the chin
My own smile, a thin veil

Do you know what it’s like
When your own body never ever
Belonged to yourself?
Taken so early
Ripped away
I had no words, I had no say

Now I understand the tears
That flowed in my first yoga class
My body remembered something
That my brain struggled to forget
How crazy am I to love the most
The one who hurt me deepest?


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