By: Matthew Borczon

It comes with the job

I was
at work
listening to
Judy talk
about her
time as
an aid
in a nursing
home she
was saying
that when
they were
close to
dying she
never wanted
to work
with them

because if
they passed
the aid
would have
to clean
the body
and she
just could
not do that

It is not
as hard
as you think
I said
to her
and the
other co
workers listening

it is way
easier than
closing their
eyes after
rigor mortis
sets in
or getting
their bodies
into the bag
after they
stiffen up

and suddenly
I notice
everyone looking
at me strange
like I am
a monkey
fucking a
football or
I am a
sailor who
went to war

and never
came home.

That marine

was missing
his arm
below the
elbow and
his leg
below
the knee

he was
giving a
motivational
speech at
a small
business symposium
telling everyone
that stepping
on that IED
in Afghanistan
was the
most unexpected
positive in
young life

but later
after he
found out
I had
been there
been in
the same
hospital
too he
looked at
me hard
and said

hey how
are you
know after
we just
left that
country all
at once

because I
am not
embarrassed
to tell
you I
am not
OK.

What I wish I would have said

To that
therapist
who said
you positively
reek of
PTSD

Yeah try
hugging your
kid with
PTSD
try petting
your dog

try kissing
your wife
when every
time you
close your
eyes all
you can
see is the
amputated
arm of
a marine

who should
have stopped
talking to
you long
ago.