Literary Yard

Search for meaning

By: Elena Mordovina

The thing that surprises me in this picture
is the cat painting exactly my portrait
(you need to put your glasses on to see) –
The one you shot then, ten years ago, on the balcony.
Don’t worry, I’m quite happy in my new relationship.
I just miss your balls sometimes.
Balls … In my new relationship,
I really miss your balls.
They are soft, but dense,
Like a small female breast.
And always carefully shaved.
“Shaved? – you would say. –
Like a female breast? You have always been tongue-tied.”
“Like your French frog’s mustache.
But still, I like it when your stubble grows a little.”
“In you new relationship, don’t you have balls?
Have you become a lesbian?”
“He’s got such… small steel nuts …
Like a fighting breed dog.
You know, all these pit bulls and cane corsos”…
He fucks like a god, and loves me like a dog,
But he has one small flaw: I don’t love him.
And you don’t know what love is.
Two things drive you:
Manic obsession with sex
And affection for Paris.
Therefore, when everything came together in one object,
You inevitably got stuck.
Balls… Your balls. Let me
Mentally hold them in my palms
While you’re fucking another one
French bitch.
Eiffel Tower
Under a gray rainy sky –
Like a gaunt cobweb or cocoon
Hanging from a wet spruce paw.


Elena Mordovina  is a Ukrainian author best known for her novel The White Balance.  Since 2003 Elena Mordovina also works as a vice chief editor of “Kreschatik” international literary magazine. Her first book, The Wax Dolls, was published in Sankt-Petersburg in 2010. She’s also the author of the children’s fantasy novel series, which soon will be published in English as Ghostarium.   

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