By: Gaya Gayatrinath

GSA

a friend of mine called me from a country overseas
told me he heard USA is now called GSA overseas
US consul there assured my friend nothing had changed
‘just replaced U with G’, US consul told my friend
‘GSA or USA, we are the most powerful country in the world’

‘wow! no one in America has any clue yet’ I say to my friend
wondering and worrying as I thought, “could it true?”
‘well what’s in a name’ you may scoff and say
‘I’d rather live in USA, and not in some place called GSA’

DC buses going by the mall, offers no tour of the GSA
zilch happens at GSA, folks prefer zoo than visit GSA
certainly obscure once upon a time
now everyone has to learn three new letters
and forget the earlier three

governments began changing U to G
their central bankers speculating
‘would dollar be renamed too?’
rich people worried
how to safeguard their dollar horde

countries large and small
had to present credentials anew
making Trump very happy
for all the gifts he received
he even said to an aide
“this is great, ought to do it more”

Reporters from US and abroad
came to DC to meet GSA
coffee machines ran dry
as journalists by the score
drank many cups of the brew
till there was no more

head of GSA declared election score
the lady did this on national TV
she felt a bit self conscious
that she weighed a wee bit more
so she lower her eyes
as she read election score
she sacrificed a second pizzas pie
that all others in GSA ate
and sipped just one cup of soup
blaming her terrible fate

soon GSA ran out of coffee
as well as bathroom tissues
being only game in town
everyone wanted to be part of the crown

junior staff of GSA worked diligently
from the building steps
senior staff worked did not work diligently
and had offices in a hotel across the GSA

seeing their plight our President, God Bless Him, showed pity
promptly directed GSA be moved to Capitol Buildings in the city
‘GSA must warehouse furniture not given to Biden
and preserve tainted ballots to prove I won’
‘Congress does little in that building anyway
so move in GSA and move out Congress’
‘where do we move Congress’ his aides wanted to know
‘move them to vacated GSA offices’ President replied

GSA was installed in their brand new office
and began planning things they would do
‘old laws may have worked in the good old USA’
‘but they are outdated and not suitable anymore’ they declared

‘President to vacate office if he loses’
‘is one those laws that we’ll immediately change’
‘replaced with a rule that is sure to avert
unseemly fights over who won the election’
such squabble debases our great country
made great thanks to President Trump
‘president Trump can continue in office
subject to some precise rules
if the president can walk to the helicopter
across White House lawns
with only two from secret service
holding him on either side’
then he can continue to rul
occasional tumbles
not exceeding six a month
would not be deemed violation of the rule

myriad changes have taken place in USA
impacting daily life in USA
cheerleader and others
who scream loudly
at ball games, Congress, protests
or just to let out steam in a park
are now required
to scream and chant GSA in place of USA

to ensure a smooth transition
of this crucial scream and chant
GSA paid voice coaches
with this training in their throat
cheerleaders can easily chant
or even scream GSA, GSA, GSA
following the same tone and pitch
of the much practiced USA, USA, USA

luckily for other Americans
and folks unable to chant GSA, GSA, GSA
the agency was moved back
to their old offices after Biden’s win
Congress too barring a few
was back to their place in the Capitol

a hundred or more members
and senators Cruz and Hawley
never returned to the Capitol
wandering around the land instead
telling anyone who would listen
‘Trump won election by a landslide’

###

TESLA

Tesla oh Tesla, what are you? brilliant shining meteor or a star?
as other cars are getting started, you’ve reached the finish line already
you bravely gave up gasoline, causing Saudis sleepless nights
your conviction to run on electric power, shocked the entire car industry

Tesla oh Tesla, what are you? brilliant shining meteor or a star?
you buy lithium before it is mined, while it is still under the ground
you offer payment in Tesla stock or offer to buy more in days to come
you set up car plants in China & California, don’t care where they come up
you do it for huge vacant lands plus tax breaks for at least 30 years
you build roads where there are absolutely none, such as Appalachia

Tesla oh Tesla, what are you? brilliant shining meteor or a star?
neither Republicans nor Democrats can stop or cause you worry
Fang companies agonize, unable to figure out how you stay free of worry
Red and Blue States both like you, and beg for a Tesla plant in their State
both parties unite and implore, not to build the car in a foreign State
after getting Tesla to set up a plant, congressmen relax knowing that
with a job in a Tesla plant, his constituents putting food on their table
will vote for them when elections come around in two years

Tesla oh Tesla, what are you? brilliant shining meteor or a star?
folks that cannot afford a Tesla car, buy a Tesla share instead
they sit on their porch and proudly watch streets, fill up with Tesla cars

at CNN, MSNBMC and even on the Fox News channel
experts talk about lithium, supply chain and other things banal
to finally conclude, nothing is predictable but Tesla stocks will rise
as if on cue, Tesla climbs, baffling experts and confounding the market
Tesla shares glides along its electric path, blowing the bulb off the socket

Tesla oh Tesla, what are you? brilliant shining meteor or a star?
news anchors say Index 500 of the S&P is adding Tesla to the roster
replacing it with another, a company right now in that roster
discussion about the inclusion turns testy among members of the panel
they analyze the implications for a while, then start analyzing it again
they ponder over the question, would Tesla be a true 500 barometer?
ticker tapes show Tesla shares rip the thermometer, even as they discuss

Tesla oh Tesla, what are you? brilliant shining meteor or a star?
perhaps there is one solution, to end debate on Tesla S&P inclusion
why not create a brand new index, with Tesla as the only stock

men have loved cars ever since Tin lizzie was invented by Ford
millions of cars have been bought and sold since that first Ford
from time to time a Ferrari or a mustang appears on the scene
companies making those cars, see their stocks go higher
Detroit continued to built cars, that lasted or quickly disappeared

so why this fame and name for Tesla no brand has enjoyed
are Tesla lovers into it for environment or to destroy fossil fuel
is it the ride, its uncluttered interior or some other factors driving the sale
is the stock going up because the world will soon be all electric?
when you find answers to these questions, please reach out to me
you’ll know i me, I am the old guy driving around in a green colored Tesla!