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‘I Wish I Was More Prepared’ and other poems

By: Cailey Tarriane

Photo by Alena Shekhovtcova on

I Wish I Was More Prepared.

Left to be governed by moonlight
Unequipped, flightless and never was

Been loved like a daughter
Never learned how to spread out wings
Because I am daughtered

Glints of the moon or I’m left alone
But the white glow fades away

A shadow of the once daughtered
Pushed to thrive and

Pushed to fight, fight for salt
Just to sprinkle it on my wounds

Vulnerable to attacks
Like a sheep joining a wolf’s pack

Though I’m not a wolf in sheep’s clothing
But a girl under a hood

With a growing layer of grime
Being lost to uncertainty and

Lost to being a princess
And having parents

If I could have it all again
I wish I was more prepared.


Golden Girl

She paints her lips rosy in that little vanity
She follows what is wanted for her, leads by example
She rehearses her smile
like she fell from the sky
Sunlight enters her tidy room, its spotlight on her face
She is a jewel brought to the surface
And tears brought to the shore
She has been broken
and now she will not break
She smoothes out her hair and looks in the mirror
Woman of the hour, a golden girl
An earthquake wouldn’t shake her if she didn’t want it to
She’s been held down in the water to see light
So that this can come true.


Drowning In My Own Storm

My choked out gasp fell after me
Waves pushed me down, but I know every layer of the sea

The currents won’t bury my pride like the waters buried me
Bubbles ricochet from my nose as I inhale in water, as I smile

The pressure of being strong enough, to win against a storm
Won’t try, won’t fight, I’m not foolish anymore

My limbs grow numb as I sink further down the sea
Vision clouded, cold tightening my ribs

I leave a trail of bubbles, looking for shelter
I don’t need them, I can breathe forever

The waters are all mine, they belong with me
And if they won’t let their master be, I’ll join them.


I Guess We’re A Broken Family Now

Big sister’s twanging guitar is gone
Brought with father when he moved
The twins have no more friends over
They know this house’s current mood

Where boundary lines
And tempers are broken
In dinner time the flame of angst
Stops burning, I kept hints, whispers of secrets
Never to be risen again

In the light of the warmth
The lamp goes out
Our eyes dim with wistfulness
My knock-knock jokes used to have witnesses
Children laughing their noses red
Now they all look like they’ve tasted chili peppers

It’s sting shadowing their faces
Faces that used to sing to the music of commercials
And make merry to the ring of the violin
Will we get these sounds back
With missing members veiling our foundation
With overcast clouds

Weary of who we once were
Weary and making words bitter
Until thick darkness covers
Those who dwell
To make us happy again

Happy that no gold can compare with it

Valuables like rings and lipstick-for-kids
are no worth of mention
Like this jewel-to-the-surface happiness
We will rise out of the shore
I guess we’re just a broken family now.


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