Mr. Zuzu he wouldn’t come out. And I put a carrot on the floor. And he wouldn’t come out he just stayed there in his cage.
Bad Mr. Zuzu I told him you come out now Mr. Zuzu! But he didn’t come out bad Mr. Zuzu!
I put my hand in there and Mr. Zuzu, he tried to bite me. Bad bunny.
I got my Chummy Twirler. My Chummy Twirler flashes, and it flashes with lights, red light, and yellow ones too. And music, it makes music. La la do do dee dee dee dee it makes that noise for music. I put it in there, in the cage. And it made music. It lighted all over, and it made the music. La do la dee la la la.
Mr. Zuzu ran out and I caught him. Mr. Zuzu, he’s a fast rabbit, and he ran right out of there. But I caught him. By his ears I caught him. He made a sound just like a baby.
Bad Mr. Zuzu I pulled his ears and he made a baby sound.
I picked him up and I shaked him and shaked him, and I pinched Mr. Zuzu. He made sounds bad Mr. Zuzu and I spanked him and threw him in his cage.
I called him bad bunny. Stupid idiot bunny. That’s what I told him.
Hemmy is my bird. I own him. Trevor’s not old enough to have a bird yet. I know Trevor has a cam…a lizard, but Trevor can’t take care of a bird like me. Trevor’s got Mr. Zuzu. Mr. Zuzu’s a bunny rabbit. He’s black. Most of his fur is black. But his face is white.
Jupiter is Trevor’s too. Jupiter’s a clameon…a calamlillyan. He changes colors. Trevor’s had lots of lizards, but none of them changed colors. Not like Jupiter changes colors.
But I have Hemmy. He’s my bird. He’s green. Trevor doesn’t have a bird. Hemmy is green. My other bird Sonny was red, but Hemmy’s green. Sonny was loud, and one time I pulled his feathers and he bit me and my finger bled. Mommy put a Band-Aid on it.
And Sonny flew away one night. He flew away because, to live with other birds. In nature? I know because that’s what Mommy said.
One time, I spilled a drop of coffee on the carpet. Cora had a shit fit. Didn’t talk to me the rest of the day. So think about how pissed she was when that damn dog—what the hell was its name? Buster. It shit all over the carpet.
Cora was screaming at the top of her lungs when I came in. You should have seen her. Face all red, crying. “You stupid dog!”
She walloped him. He got so scared he pissed on the carpet. I said I let him out earlier, but I didn’t. I wanted to get rid of that damn dog anyway.
So that night, I mixed up a little concoction for the shitter. I call it Green Lightning. I put it in the garage and he lapped it up like water. But Green Lightning ain’t water. It’s only part water. And part cleaning fluid, and part antifreeze. That was his last drink. So long, Buster.