By Kyle Serro

            A knock on the door in the night was what woke him up. He looks out of the window and sees someone dark and goes outside to see who it is. No one is outside, so he goes back in after waking up his wife because he was locked out of his house. He looks back through the window and then realizes that the dark figure was himself. He believes it is just his mind playing tricks on him. There is fear in his eyes as well as mental problems that can easily drive a stable, normal man towards insanity and constant paranoia.

            The man is his own worst enemy. He is causing his own paranoia. This story is a case of self-sabotage.  The definition of paranoia is, “a mental condition characterized by delusions of persecution, unwarranted jealousy, or exaggerated self-importance, typically elaborated into an organized system. It may be an aspect of chronic personality disorder, of drug abuse, or of a serious condition such as schizophrenia in which the person loses touch with reality.” This man who received a knock at the door is beginning to lose touch with reality. He is shocked to realize that he actually saw himself. This is symbolizing the recognition he faces that he is losing touch with reality. He looked outside, woke up his wife, and stared out the window in the middle of the night to find nothing. Self sabotage is something that is very present in this man’s life. Self-sabotage appears to be stemming from his own insecurity. His mind begins to wonder. He repeats to himself that everything is in his imagination. His mind is playing tricks on him. These thoughts continue to run around in his brain until there is nothing else he can think about.

            When the man realizes that the dark figure he saw staring back at him was himself, he was shocked. He is genuinely concerned and afraid of what his mind is creating. The man’s biggest fear is himself and the scenarios he believes he is conjuring up in his head. When someone falls out of touch with reality, it is easy for those around the person to be afraid. The person who is suffering from this has to be way more afraid of what their mind is doing.  When he faces this false reality, he is shocked. His conscience and emotions help him to recognize what is happening to him in this dark night. He is finally facing the harsh realization that he has lost touch with reality. He is driving himself mental. The man is starting to lose himself completely, which is the thing that scares him the most. Nothing will hold this man back besides his fear for himself and what problems he will cause. His head is tormented and in shambles. He can be scared of himself and all the danger he can cause while not being in his right mind. He can be scared of hurting his wife and ruining his own life with this paranoia and anxiety he is finally facing.

            Thoughts can consume the mind. Thoughts can scare anyone if they become dark enough. When thoughts start becoming visual like they are in this man’s life, it becomes time to start worrying. Sometimes, disturbing thoughts can not go away. It seems like this man’s visions are starting to take over his life. They are waking him up in the middle of the night and forcing him to lock himself out of his house and also forcing him to wake up his wife as well. The man repeats to himself that there is no reason to be scared of the knock or the figure outside. The only thing to be scared of is his own brain.

            If he would have stayed inside, he would have never known that he was going through this tough time in his life. He would not have realized that he lost complete and total sense of actuality. His mind is playing games with him. He tells himself needs to face the facts and experience the realization to begin to get better. The alternate situation that could have happened would continue to worsen. If he did not listen to the knock or look outside, he would not have realized his mental issues. He would be sent into a further spiral and have no idea that he is causing his own paranoia.

            The man goes to take one last peek out of the window, expecting to see himself looking back at him. He is eager to see the familiar face looking back so he can convince himself that it is nothing. This figure of the night is simply a demon of his own mind. However, there is nobody there. He lets out a sigh of relief as he makes his way back to bed where his wife lay fast asleep. As he pulls back the covers, he realizes his wife is not alone. There is a man lying next to her, a man who looks all too familiar. The man is stunned to see his own face staring back at him, attached to his own body lying next to his wife. He is convinced his mind is continuing to play tricks on him, until he feels a hand grab onto his own.