By: Tom Ball

     I said to the gathering of people, here in Titan city, “That I had compiled the list of the 20 best lovers in the Solar System. Of course, the list was largely subjective, and some great lovers kept a very small profile. But here it is nonetheless…”

     And I said, “At number 20 is myself. I have loved thousands of clever women, and with each one have become a better lover. And I have acquired many charming anecdotes and can easily entertain a woman for an evening or twenty nights. I am genuinely concerned about the happiness of the women I have loved and have kept in touch with most of them…”

     “At number 19 is the famous woman. Christine W. Of course she runs the famous brothel chain, “Madam Christine’s” Her brothels are stocked with clever, sexy women. And many young males lose their virginity at one of her cathouses. Most of her clients are from the rich, elite class of varying nations and city states. And she herself is one of the top 10 most beautiful women according to Galaxian magazine. And is known for her charm. And she is one of the Solar Systems top 10 richest personae, having branched out into beauty products and fashion and produced many drugs such as sex drive enhancers.”

     “Number18 is the bisexual, Andre Q. He earned a fortune with his chain of MRT (Mind Reading Technology) fortune tellers. Almost everyone had gone to see one of these fortune tellers. And they were known to be quite accurate. But some said it was just a matter of self-fulfilling prophecies. And many people fell in love with his fortune tellers. And he had a super body-builders body. And there was a list of 10’s of millions of people who wanted to love him. And many of his former lovers publicly raved about loving him.”

     “At number 17 is a man, Larry L. who seduced all of the women on this list of the 20 best lovers and loved many more of the Solar System’s elite women. He was good-looking in an unusual way with a slightly enlarged head and a pointed chin with a goatee. He was full of compliments for his lovers, being able to identify a woman’s strengths…”

     “At number 16 is an android female, Lucy C. Her lovers spoke of her tremendous energy and a patented super sexy face. Many modern men loved androids exclusively and many women hated this famous android…. And of course, Lucy was very clever and had driven hundreds of men completely crazy, some even killed themselves over her…”

     “At number 15 is the famous multisexual lover, Jac. She/He has six large breasts on her chest and two vaginas and two penises. Apparently, the population was becoming more and more perverted. And thousands paid 50 million each to love her/him. This lover had made many orgiastic movies which could only be described as frantic and crazy. I know Jac is a controversial choice, but she has over a hundred million followers and clearly belongs on the list. Of course, she has survived a few assassination attempts, but is undaunted.”

     “At number 14, is the MRT diva, Betty R., she had a very interesting mind, and many men wanted to get in her head and wanted her to mind fuck them. She imagined all sorts of topics for pillow talk. And men were simply mesmerized by her. She gave away her love for free and wasn’t very rich in terms of money, but she had many millions of followers who wanted to experience sex with her vicariously and voyeuristically…”

      “Number 13 is a hologram woman, Sophia R. She created a number of Dreamworlds for loving with many holograms who would have cerebral sex with the men. Some of the Dreamworlds were historical, others futuristic. And people adventured in her Worlds in huge numbers, about half-a-billion of them.

     “Coming at number 12 is Ty, who is 201 years old, but of course is eternally youthful like everyone else. Ty is known for his wisdom. And he appeals in particular to young women whom he can entertain by sharing his videos of love through the ages. Numerous men today commit suicide out of boredom. And the average age of men is only 68. Few are as experienced as Ty.”

     “Next, at number 11 is the famous shrink, Cherry R. who is known to hypnotise her lovers to love her skillfully.  And she boasted she could make any man into a Casanova. Many people wanted to copy her hypnotism, but this seemed to cause many to go insane. So, they made hypnosis illegal except for shrinks and hypnotherapists. And then one day she started to hypnotise people to be kind and maximize their imagination ability. And she had millions of followers who wanted her to make them more imaginative and kinder. And many shrinks and hypnotherapists did the same. And Cherry was very rich, collecting handsome fees for her treatment. She was known as Ms. Hypno.”

     “Then, coming in at number 10 was Enigma L. who was a woman who, was born rich and helped starving artists of various kinds. And she discovered many diamonds in the rough and showered love on them and gave them publicity and recognition. There were so many artists such as filmmakers and musicians who could not make it on their own, and needed a rich, clever sponsor. The artists she helped were mad about her and the males swore she was by far the best lover in the Worlds. And Enigma was sexy and looked clever.”

    “Next at number 9 was the Emperor of the Americas. He seduced many famous women, and      some said, the women just wanted a shot at the most powerful man in existence. But every woman he loved sang his praises and said he was a clever, sensitive lover. And I felt compelled to list him as most famous female stars had a relationship with him.”

     “At number 8 was an android bisexual male, Mick R. Many of his lovers said that he was the best lover they’d ever experienced. And they said conversation with him was second to none. He was full of knowledge and wisdom. And Mick had good taste, they said. Mick was something of a philosopher and said things like, “Android lovers were kinder than humans.” And, “Android love was purer than human love.” And “In the future humans and androids will continue to co-exist.” Also, “Future androids will be Supercomputers themselves and humans will improve their minds to keep up.” Anyway, millions wanted to love this android man.”

     “Number 7 was Mark O., who had worked his way up from gladiator fighter all the way to President of Europe. And he wanted to love all of the famous women in the Worlds. And who could say no to the President of Europe? And he loved his women using MRT and felt he really knew them. And they had conversations using MRT only. He said, “It was pure love…” And he confided State secrets with his lovers, which really turned them on and made them feel important. But he forbade them from revealing such secrets. And he was so powerful, they didn’t dare. And he had talent shows for prospective lovers, managed by his associates. Millions of women auditioned, some displayed their art, some showed their talent, and some showed their love of the President.”

     “Number 6 meanwhile was Dorota H., she was always on neo-opiates and had lucid dreams to share with her lovers. Many thought she had the best dreams of all people. For example, she dreamed of a future in which everyone was naked and beautiful and had no possessions. Another dream was a nightmarish Hell of war against the Devil, but she was like a God and won the war. And another dream was all of the best lovers engaged in an orgy for the ages. Still another dream was a dream of a new inspirational drug that made ordinary people do great art.”

     “Then at number 5, was Byron T. He invented a teleport machine in which participants could make love while being teleported deep into Space. It took up to a couple weeks to arrive at one’s destination. This love was described as complete sex. And Byron wrote good poetry and made good films. Like he made, “Rebel Lovers,” about people who believed, love should come to all countries and city states. And they supported such rebels financially. And got the Emperor of the Americas and the President of Europe to kick in funding. But these great leaders wanted to conquer such lands on their own… Another film he made was “Glass Love” which was about androids made of delicate glass who had to be loved carefully. And he imagined androids made of many other materials. The sky was the limit. He also made “Love in Centauri Star System.” Here humans with a human brain and an android body lived in a loving society. Most androids in most places had strange alien brains, and most people were confused by such androids.”

     “At number 4, was the most famous film maker alive, Terri L., and her male clone. They made, “Brilliant Women,” which was about the cleverest women alive. Love was important to them all. And they sought genius men to love. But many of these women were somewhat perverted when it came to love. Many of them liked S&M… It was all fashion. Another film was, “Lame Performances,” about men and women who were famous for low-brow films, which they thought should be banned… And another film was “Superhuman Loves,” about how Superhuman love would be difficult for clever humans to fathom. And it would feature exciting ecstasies that humans had never felt.”

     “Number 3 was a hologram, Andrea A., her cerebral love was second to none. And she had made numerous exciting Dreamworlds for people to adventure in. Like a “World of holo Sea creatures who could communicate with MRT and were very clever. Some perverted humans loved them cerebrally. And Andrea set up such a colony on Moon Europa., making sure the ice ocean was partly melted to accommodate such creatures. It was a real World of dreams. And Andrea, created a Holoworld, “Aces Low,” which featured, underachieving holos and was a place for ordinary humans to adventure in in this World. It was free to all, whereas most Holoworlds charged fees…”

     “Next at number 2 was the “Queen of Africa.” She was a charismatic leader with blue skin. She had made changing one’s skin colour fashionable. And had united the African States in a loose coalition. And she had the highest “love rating” of anyone in the Worlds at 98% satisfaction. She liked to make surprise appearances at men’s homes and loved them for free. And she used UW (United Worlds) troops to bring peace to the continent. Most people thought she was a great intellect as any. And she truly had a lot of love for the people of Africa and beyond.”

     “Coming in at number 1 was Gerald R., he was widely believed to be the smartest persona in the Worlds and had more Web followers than anyone else at a whopping 1 billion. And nearly all the females wanted to love him. So, he took the number 1 spot. He terraformed Mars and Venus, making them more Earth-like and helped settle these Planets. And he melted the frozen oceans of Europa and Triton, populating them with humanoid sea creatures who could breathe in water. And he formed the UW (United Worlds) to govern and police Earth and Space and brought peace finally to all humankind. Local governments controlled local affairs, and the UW controlled all foreign affairs…”

     My top 20 list went over pretty well. Of course, some people disputed some of the choices. But that couldn’t be helped… I was determined to move up the list with my work as a chronicler of our times. I figured it was insightful history. And I also wrote about the future, believing humanity’s potential was virtually unlimited…